Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
its not stalking. its research.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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