you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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