Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
