cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My pussy is not your playground.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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