I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
