can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
