But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
