So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
