Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
