Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize