I'm laying in your front yard are you home
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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