I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My vagina is officially offended.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize