just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
