Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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