Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
