I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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