I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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