I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
