Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize