Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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