We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
3 2 1 whiskey
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
