I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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