At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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