We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
