I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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