she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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