well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
