I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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