Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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