We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
