i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
