Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize