No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
