They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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