Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
