i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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