I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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