Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
