Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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