1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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