Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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