The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
