if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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