I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
