had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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