Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
