it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize