My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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