its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
