I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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