I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We left the knife in your bed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
