Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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