i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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