have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
