His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
