happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
