I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize