I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
