On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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